i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Randomize
