google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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