no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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