Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize