remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
