dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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