did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
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