I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
