do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
