i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
