wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
