I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize