hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize