UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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