yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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