I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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