Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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