my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
