Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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