Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
