What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
