my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
