I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
This house was built for laser tag.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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