I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
