Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
