we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
