I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
