I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
