Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
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swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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