I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
