I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
birth control should be required to get into college
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
