so let's talk penis.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
