is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
