i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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