Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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