ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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