I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
i believe in u and ur pee
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
