We won't sleep together?
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize