ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
