That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
