I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
