My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
