the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
