so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
