If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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