The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I will be naked everywhere
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
