You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
