i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
