nutella sex= disaster
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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