I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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