These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
