woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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