you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
