new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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