how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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