he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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