Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
