I wannas sexs uuuuu
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
