before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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